Put this on your bucket list: “I will make sure my Facebook page dies before I do, or soon thereafter.”
The sites of three long gone real- world friends remain active. On each, people post birthday greetings, “thinking of you” greetings and pitches.
Pitches for coins, pitches to end the sale of ivory. Pitches for online poker games.
These are not paid ads. They’re not put there by Facebook itself. These are placed by so-called “friends” who never updated their own lists or who don’t mind turning those long gone friends into from- the- grave salesmen.
It’s wonderful to remember poor old Jack. Fine to keep the flame alive. Many of his other friends and relatives will visit and see and remember and maybe send a silent message to the deceased.
But Grinnin’ Gabe’s Used Cars back to school sale (this week only!)?
This is like posting ads on the sides of coffins. Maybe it’s worse. Only those at the funeral or the burial would see the coffin ads.
On Facebook, they’re there for the whole world to see.
So here’s how you solve it. If you expect to star in a funeral and you’re still able, block everyone from posting on your site.
Your friends will find other ways to salute you.
Even if you’re in good health, you still can plan ahead. The NSA has a form you can fill out while of sound mind. It instructs them to disable your “newsfeed” at the appropriate time.
They’ll be happy to act on your behalf. One less site to monitor. Your tax dollars at work. And, yes, they’ll know when you go. They get copies of your death certificate.
Or make it a condition of your will and disclose your password to a trusted friend, preferably someone to whom you leave something.
“And to my dear cousin Bradley, I bequeath my villa in Switzerland, possession to be awarded upon his disabling my Facebook page.”
You have to make it worthwhile, because Bradley never really liked you anyway. So, get even. Don’t tell him about the roaches and the plumbing problems, the neighboring aristocrat who throws wild and loud parties and never invites you.
--Hempstead high school on New york’s Long Island has invited Nicki Manaj to perform since her alma mater, LaGuardia/Performing Arts near Lincoln Center cancelled her scheduled appearance. The principal expressed fears of “disruption” because she’d be accompanied by a camera crew. This sounds bogus and leads us to ask what was the principal really afraid of?
--One thing you can say about non- murderer George Zimmerman is he’s consistent. Evidence? He was arrested in Florida and charged with threatening to kill a motorist during -- surprise, surprise -- a road rage incident.
-Scotland this week votes on possible independence from Britain and it’s big news over here because Scotland is a country Americans have actually heard of … and in some cases care about.
I’m Wes Richards. My opinions are my own but you’re welcome to them. ®
Please address comments to firstname.lastname@example.org
© WJR 2014